The dance continues.......

You say noting because you can't get a word in
I say nothing when you speak because there is no use in trying to defend my worth
We fight over nothing
Then we fuck
Over and over this happens
After a fight we dance on egg shells
Wondering when the other will step on one
With a deafening crack!
In Circles we step
Round and Round the other
Carefully watching the other
waiting.......

I found this on one of my good friend's myspace! Enjoy!!

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2008, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don’t have shit to talk about
.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don’t ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it’s only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it’s really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don’t be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don’t want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it’s over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.

14. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it - I don’t care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate’s girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.

20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

21. No phone use, please - don’t want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.


Participating PartySignature_______________________________________Date: ________________

Participating PartySignature_______________________________________Date: ________________

Question for my friends.

Because she brought his damn dog to see him when she came to pick up her stuff (even though she legally wasn;'t supposed to untill the papers where ready), I have to leave my house so she can see her cats. My best friends say fuck that shit if she wants to see her cats then I have to be there. If he loved me wouldn't he tell her that I have to be here? What do you guys think?

Putting my foot down

I'm putting my foot down
No more shit
Not one more word from your lips
Is it me or her?
Is it her that you think of?
No more
You are mine
Take or leave it
But don't abuse it
I will give you every thing
I will love you unlike any other woman
Better than her
No more fights for you
Just balance and harmony
I will take you as you are
You will take me as I am
spirit and all
You are my soulmate
You even call your self my soulmate
I'm tired of waiting for you
My time is now
Our time is here
Your lips belong to me
Your hands should only touch me
Your eyes should only watch me
Your body belongs to me
Along with your heart and soul
You in whole are mine
totally and fully
She is the past
We are the future
I'm putting my foot down

Way tooooo nice........

So this weekend him and I went out with his ex girlfriend. He said that she wanted to meet me. Here is their background: They dated back when he was 16 to 17 and she was 14 to 15. They broke up in a bad way. She is also the girl he still has "sexy underwear" pics. Gross. So he wanted me to meet her and invited her and her husband to the bar where the underachievers were gonna be playing. We had to pick her up. Now let me tell you how this made me feel. I felt like punching him in the face. I felt like tripping him. It made me so mad. I don't want to meet your exs especially the ones that you fucked. We picked her up and well she has that kind of voice that makes you want to stuff your fingers in your ears. Her behavior is child like, whinny and dramatic. I was on my best behavior for the occassion, didn't want to piss him off. We got to the gig and found the table where all his friends were. She of course sat next to me. Her husband wouldn't be there until later. She kept asking me questions and talking to me but it was useless since I couldn't hear shit over the band except when she was in my ear. She kept playing with my lighter leash and my purse. She was uber nice to me. It was scary. He finally led me out to the dance floor during "faithfully" by journey. That is where he told me that she liked me and approved. What!!???!!! I asked him if that meant a lot to him and his dumb ass replied yes.NOw I went from annoyed to pissed. Why does it matter if she likes me or not? She isn't dating him, I am. Her opinion doesn't have anything to do with how we feel about eachother. I was mad and confused. Why did she have matter? I don't understand him. He hangs on to his exs even though they don't like for him for what he did to them. When he searches for friends on myspace or facebook he looks up his exs. Now that hurts and makes me feel like shit. Yeah I'm friend with a few of my exs but we were friends when we broke up and have been for years. I don't go looking my ex boyfriend or my ex girlfriends. And I certainly don't care what my exs think of my relationships. It is none of their buisness unless I want it to be. He hadn't talked to his ex since they broke up, up until 2 months ago. Now that is almost 10 years between those two points. Why bother trying to rebuild the bridge when you burned it 10 years ago and the road is no longer traveled?
We went out side to see her bike that her husband rode to the bar in the freezing air. She offered me ride and there was no way I was going to let him on the back of that back of that bike even if her husband was there. So I went. I love the air in my face and the freedom of the road so I just concentrated on the feel of the motor between legs. Not on her. Shortly after that we all decided to go to perkins and hang out. Of couse I had no idea that her corner was next to where I sat so I had to sit by her again. We were all talking like we were all good friends making me sick to my stomache and not to mention she even paid for him and I to eat with them. She started talking about why she married her husband and said some thing that I understood all to well. She said that she married him for his flaws. It was his flaws she fell in love with. That is how I felt about him. It was his quirks that make me smile and shake my head. We left and went home. I thought about all that had happened on my way home. Yeah they talked about the past and made me sad but I still loved him at the end of the day. But I am still hurt by his actions.
I went out last night and he was all jealous that some guy ( who was interested in my best friend) was buying her and my drinks. NOw hear this.... He was at work while I went out. I stay in a house all day and never hang out with anybody. He told me that he doesn't like my best friend or that fact that I'm going out but he will allow it. What the fuck is that suppossed to mean??????? I am my own woman and he can't tell me who I can hang out with. Nor can he tell me what to do. He isn't my father, he is my partner and that is how he should treat me. His jealousy is flatttering but it is excesive to the point of insanity for him. I did nothing but talk about him all night. He called me more times last night than he does on a normal night and talked to me longer than he normaly does. Then he fucked up my night. He texted me an attitude. We started arguing about me not having a job. Why would he pick a fight with me via text message? And on a night I was out trying to have a little fun? I will admit that I haven't been doing all I can. I should be trying way harder to get a job. I have jsut been so depressed about everything going on in my life. I am trying to get my shit straight not only in my life but also in my head. He keeps talking about how this is about us now and not a me or him thing. The whole us concept is unknown to me. No man has ever done any thing for me. No man has ever wanted to take care of me. It has always been me taking care me. And when I was taking care of me I was also taking care of my family. He tells me that he does what he does for the better of us. What confuses me the most is how he isn't over her and he clings to hard to us. You should have see the pain in his eyes when I told him how bad it hurts that he compares me to her. I told him that I know that he isn't over her. He looked like I had just punched him in the face. I look in the mirror and wonder if I am doing the right thing. If sacrificing my contentment and peice of mind just to be near him is right? Is it right for him to tell me that he loves me when she still holds his heart? I only stay here because I love him. Some times I wonder if he wants me to stay because he can't handle being alone. When he asked me to move in I told him that I don't want to be the rebound. I also told him today I don't want to be the reason for his upset. I have come so far in the last few years to only fall on my face and that has been hard enough for me. I don't mind being the reason he loves, smiles, laughs and tears of joy. For he is the reason I'm not on the streets. He is the reason for my happiness and he is the reason for my depression for the stupid shit men say when they shouldn't ever say to the woman who loves him. He cuts me so deep and I just keep going back for more. I think I like the pain. I think it amuses him to watch me hurt. If he didn't then why would say things that he knows hurts?
We sat on the bed and talked about all this for hours today and I never once got a straight answer out of him. It felt like we were dancing circles around each other, like what ever I said went in one ear and out the other. When I tell him I love him I mean it with every once of fiber of my soul. Does he hear me? Or is it her he hears? His actions speak louder than his words...................

Jealousy

I'm flattered but yet I'm not. Why are you so jealous of my past? You hold parts of me that no one has ever held but you. You love me where no one else ever has. You are the only man that makes me cum. So why do you dream such horrible dreams? Why do you get all weird at the mention of my ex when you talk about her all the time? Are you really over her? I think not. I don't care if you were with her for the last 5 fuckin years or the last five months, You can't sit here and look me in the face and tell me you are over her when you are absolutly not. When you are over some one you don't talk about them, you don't look for ways to bring them up and you don't tell your current girlfriend that she is acting like your ex wife!!!~!!!!!! Sure I'm jealous that she was the one touching, kissin, holding, and well fuck she held your attention whether is was bad or good. I won't lie I hate her. Because I love you. I don't get all pissy about all the girls you cheated on me with. I don't talk about my exs except the ones where we decided we would make better friends. And to this day are still good friends. I don't have shit from my exs in a box for you to read. I don't hang on to that shit because they mean nothing to me now. When you still have fucking pics of your ex in sexy underwear from when she was like 14 it grosses me out. It is just fucking weird because you are now 24 not fucking 16. And I certainly would not keep letters from other exs especially when those letters were from when you and I were together. I don't want to know that you were pinning for jenny when you were kissing me. The chick in the underwear is married now and I really want you to give those pics back to her. How do you think her husband would feel if he knew you had those pics? Better yet think of how you would feel if baby daddy still had pics of me nearly Naked? You wouldn't like it and in fact you would hate it.
But I'm not complaining I'm just stating that you have no reason to be jealous when I have all the reasons in the world to hate you but don't. Lucky bastard. You are the man I have choosen to spend my life with. Not just this day or week or year but my life. And I have known this since I was 16. That is why I let you go so many times. You never knew what you wanted until it was too late and you were stuck with that ugly nasty lieing cum guzzling bubble on a diesease ridden flea infested gay man ass hole gutter slut. Not my fault. Not my fault you choose her over me back then. And not my fault you cheated on me with those whores. And it is not my fault that I am human and have needs just as you do. My needs needed to be met and well I made sure that they were just like you did. Soyou have not one single reason to act like a jealous fool around me for any reason. You were the one that fucked up not me so don't make me pay for her mistakes. I'm not her nor will I ever be. I am me and no body else. I am my own person just like you are. I don't not make you pay for his or your mistakes. I simply love you for who you are and not what I want you to be. Love me for who I am mistakes and all. Just like I love you.

Lets get serious

I would like to take a minute and ask for some advice. Here is the low down. I met my boyfriend 7 years ago when I was 16. We met at the summer carnival near the fourth of July. He was 18 at the time. It was love, yes young love but love none the less. We were so great together until I left for a week to visit my family in cali for my 17th birthday. He had to prove some stupid point to my older brother and stole this really nasty 14yr old chick from him. When I say nasty I mean a cum guzzling, gutter whore who has fucked more guys than there are on all the football teams in Minnesota. Plus one other that I never knew about until a month ago. That is when it went down hill. We started to argue. He would always accuse me of cheating on him even tho I was in school all damn day until he picked me up. I was always with him except when he would disappear for any where from a few days to a week. That is when I found out about Jenny the younger little slut in Iowa that he was leaving the state to fuck. Trust me we broke up a ton of times in the year we were on and off for. The fighting actually started right before my birthday in august. He would always come back to me tho. When we broke up I would erase his number from the caller id and just move on with my life as a 17 yr old girl would. Yeah I cried and yeah my heart was seriously broken. I felt empty and horrible. I'm a hot chick ( not tooting my own horn here) and a ton of guys wanted me. I would date but nothing filled that emptiness I felt. Then he would show up at my door at 5 o'clock in the morning saying he was sorry, he was an ass and that he loved me. He needed me. I was his super hot fuck. The only girl that would suck his cock like it was meant to be. And he would make sweet love to me right there on the stairs leading up to my apartment. The emptiness was gone. We would always talk shit out and get back together. We never yelled at each other but some times he did yell at me, I would just let it go. Our arguments were never heated enough to scream, it was a lot of me crying and asking him why all the time. I never cheated on him and never will. I was young and in love. Still in love. Finally I told him enough and broke up with him when all his lies came crashing down around him and he was completely busted. No way to cover his ass. So he took off to Iowa with that jenny chick. She tired of him quickly and fucked some other dude. Pissed him off so bad that he came back. But it was too late. We broke up in march and he came back in the middle of June. I was with some one else. And I was pregnant (not his trust me). He showed up at my door some time late in the evening, talking about how he loved me and wanted me back. All I could do was tell him to leave. I didn't want baby daddy to see him ( baby daddy was in my room playing video games) because I knew that baby daddy would want to fight him. I still loved him. I wasn't sure if he could see it in my eyes but I desperately wanted him to leave before baby daddy came out. I started telling him that I never wanted to see him again and to leave me alone for good. It hurt so bad to say that to him. I still loved him. I knew baby daddy was going to hear us and come out prepared and sure enough he came out with two knives in hands. They started fighting over me. Yelling and puffing their chests out. I told baby daddy to stop or it was over. I didn't want blood shed.
Baby daddy reluctantly pulled back telling him that if he ever shows up again he wouldn't hesitate to kill him. Typical right? And he drove away. I wasn't happy just to let you know. I wanted to be with the man I loved more than anything but my morals wouldn't allow me to. I would hear every once in a while about him. But is was normally about how baby daddy had run in to him at the gas station or the store. Same fight as always. Over me. It never changed. He would drive by my house a million times a day. I knew he loved me or was at least obsessed over me. I moved. Baby daddy beat, raped and took everything from me. I finally left him. My son was 3 months old then. I was shattered and moved and moved and moved until I ended up back at my moms. That is when he returned. By then it had been over a year and a half since I had seen him. my son was about six months old. I was 19 at this time. I don't remember how we started talking again but it was almost like I was 16 again. When he got out of his car and walked up to me, my knees went weak, my heart skipped like crazy and I knew I still loved him. We talked and talked at the playground down the street from my moms. It was like we had never parted. Then He hugged me. He held me so tight like he was afraid I was going to disappear out of his arms. I was in heaven. But my heaven didn't last long because he had just broken up with his future wife. Just to let you know I hate her, I wish her dead, I want to be the one to kill her. We were together for a week. I went to my brothers dads house and he called me. He was drunk and looking for some adderall and he knew I had it. He started talking about how confused he was and that if she was to walk through his door right then and there that he would take her back. I was appalled. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told him he needs to figure out what he wants and when he knows that then he can speak to me. I hung up on him there. I went home the next day and guess who shows up at my house. Yep you got it, he did. He wanted adderall and he was willing to trade mary jane for some. I asked him If he even remembered that I had broken up with him. He stared blankly at me and said no. I was in shock. He was too wasted to remember that he even called me. For fucking fuck sakes. Now I was pissed, not only did he fuck me around but I was insignificant to him. Just beautiful I thought. I traded and told him it was over until he knew what he wanted in life. I never heard from him. I only saw him. He was walking over the bridge holding her hand. I cried the rest of the way home. I knew I lost and it was truly over for us. 3 years went by. Now my son is three and I was turning 22. Out of the blue I got a message via myspace from him. I couldn't believe what I was looking at. No way was all that was going through my mind. Three whole years and now he says something. But it was the long needed apology. This is what it said:

Jul 21, 2008 7:50 AM

This may or may not be the girl i once knew year ago but if it i know i have fucked up a lot of things and the past and was lost for many year trying to figer out what i wanted it life. i went down the wrong roads and im sorry for all the things i have done. if u find it in your heart i would like to talk to you again someday u can contact me on this myspace or call i loved to hear from u'


I damn near shit my pants after I read it. I cried and my mom cried. She always knew him and I were meant to be. Mother's intuition. I smoked a cig and picked up my cell. I had to call him. Some thing was pulling me to do it. It took me like 13 times to just let it ring. I finally let it ring and he answered. My heart my pounding in my ears. I told him who I was and well we talked. I told him about the new guy in my life, my son the shit that happened while he had gotten married. I knew in my heart that I just wanted to see him one more time. We sounded like two really old good friends. So I asked him to come have a couple drinks with me and my new man and by new I mean I had only been with the guy for a week no joke. What great timing. So he agreed. We met up at the bar a day or two later. I had gotten piss ass drunk just hanging out with new guy, his friend and him. I got all sentimental and told new guy that he should be thanking him for all the great shit he taught me. That did not go over well. by now I was falling out of my seat and shit was spinning. New guy and I got in to it. But it was over as soon as it began because new guy appealed to me with the rest of our bottle. New guy said lets go back to my place and drink the rest and then we can fuck all night. I was gone by now so I was game for any thing. New guy told him that we were leaving and that he should come with us. He refused. I was so drunk that I forgot how drunk new guy was. He almost hit this bitch at the gas station and got his ass kicked. New guy had to go to the hospital. Thank the stars he called me. I was in hysterics crying. He asked where I was and I obediently told him. He came and got me. Took me back to his place and well took care of my wounds. I was covered in blood and cold and drunk and knew new guy needed me. I didn't care that he was right in front of me close enough to kiss him. All I wanted was to get to that hospital. So he took me there. He left me there. But he came back to bring me smokes and a hoodie and then he stayed with me. He held me while I sobered up and cried. It was at that precise moment that I realized how good that felt. His arms around me holding me close. I could smell his cologne and it turned me on. I knew I was wrong in my thinking because my boyfriend was inside but I didn't care. He even helped me get new guy home. We stayed out in his car until the sun came up and new guys sister came out and bothered me. This is when it got complicated. Just to let you know he had just kicked bitch out and asked her for a divorce about a month before that. I started just texting him and then I was looking for reasons to leave my boyfriends house just to talk to him. Then It was taking my boyfriends car out to go "job hunting" when I would actually go over to his house. I was so nervous the first time I was there sober. We talked for and hour and then I had to go. He held on to me so tight like he had done 3 yrs ago. I wanted to cry. I left and texted him all night when my boyfriend was at work. After a week of this he made me an offer I couldn't refuse; he had seen my place and couldn't stand how I was living, He wanted me to move in with him. I cried. I told him I needed to think about it. I went home and called my two best friends and my mother for their advice. They all said the same thing " do what makes you happy!." That was all I needed. I called him and gave him my answer. Now the all I had to do was dump new guy. With in the week I moved in with him. I was on top of the world. Nothing could bring me down. We would talk for hours before falling asleep and he would make the sweetest love to me. I couldn't be happier. But now things are getting hard. It has only been a month and a half since I moved in. We are both really stressed out from the divorce and my everyday life. I gave up every thing to move in with him. I left an entire house full of my shit for him. I quit doing hard drugs for my self and him. I love him so much that I will do any thing for him. I will never leave his side like the real woman I am. The deal was that if I was to move in I had to quit the hard drugs and get a job so I could pay off my debt. Well life is hitting us like a ton of bricks. If it wasn't one thing it was another. The stress of every thing is starting cause us to argue. I don't want to lose him again and don't want to fight with him at all. Ever. I have no job and I am going crazy just sittin in our apartment. My car is broken and well, I can only use his car to go job hunting or drop off apps. I don't have many close friends and I dropped all my drug friends. We don't fight but last night we had our first argument. It was over his mother and his wife. We really had no real reason to argue. It was over nothing and 10 mins after he stormed out of the house to go to work; he called me and I apologized and he did too. He got home this morning and it was if it had never happened. I know that we are both seriously over stressed and have only the one way to deal with it: wild sex. But I need some thing more to deal with all this stress. So does he. What can I do to dig my heels in before I lose my grip? How do I keep from letting the little shit bother us? How can I help him relieve this stress with out the use of sex? How do I get through this in one piece? If that is at all possible............ Love makes us do stupid crazy shit and I will gladly go to the end of the universe to make this man happy............... forgive me goddess for I am lost and can't find my way home.