Monday, October 20, 2008

The dance continues.......

You say noting because you can't get a word in
I say nothing when you speak because there is no use in trying to defend my worth
We fight over nothing
Then we fuck
Over and over this happens
After a fight we dance on egg shells
Wondering when the other will step on one
With a deafening crack!
In Circles we step
Round and Round the other
Carefully watching the other

I found this on one of my good friend's myspace! Enjoy!!

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2008, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.


1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don’t have shit to talk about
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don’t ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it’s only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it’s really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don’t be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don’t want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it’s over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.

14. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it - I don’t care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate’s girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.

20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

21. No phone use, please - don’t want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating PartySignature_______________________________________Date: ________________

Participating PartySignature_______________________________________Date: ________________

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Question for my friends.

Because she brought his damn dog to see him when she came to pick up her stuff (even though she legally wasn;'t supposed to untill the papers where ready), I have to leave my house so she can see her cats. My best friends say fuck that shit if she wants to see her cats then I have to be there. If he loved me wouldn't he tell her that I have to be here? What do you guys think?